by admin | Oct 21, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Having a sense of purpose in your life goes a long way to helping you feel confident, secure and happy. A sense of purpose can be brought about by anything in life, it can be related to your career, bringing up a family or doing voluntary work. It is all about fitting in and feeling you are making a difference in life, that you are achieving something and getting somewhere.
If you have a sense of purpose in life you have something to look forward to everyday, a reason for getting up out of bed in the morning with a smile, it makes you feel good on the outside and so good on the inside. It leads to a more confident person who is happy with their position in life.
Younger people very often have no problem developing a purpose in life, they are just starting out and the majority of them have exams to pass, careers to start building, meeting the opposite sex, dating, marrying and eventually starting their own families. The majority of the younger generation has a lot to look forward to and so have a sense of purpose in life.
However the older we get, uncertainty can set in and we can start wondering about our purpose in life. Perhaps the children have grown up and are no longer dependant on you. Relationships break up or we reach retirement age and no longer have our work as a purpose in life.
The older generation then has to develop a new sense of purpose in life, luckily there are many ways you can achieve this, and here are some of the more common ones.
- Take up a new hobby and do something you have always wanted to do but have never had the time before.
- Join a social club, there are many social clubs which let people of the same age group meet on a regular basis and enjoy coffee and chatting. A lot of these groups have activities you can take part in and outings to attend.
- Join an exercise group either locally or at a gym, there are various types of exercise you can take part in without being too strenuous. Swimming meets are a great idea for the older person.
- Take up a sport such a tennis or bowling etc.
- Visit family and friends on a regular basis and have them come over for dinner
- Take up some voluntary work for a few hours every day, it gives you a sense of purpose and gets you out of the house.
- Take a part time job that you can adequately cope with for a few hours per week.
- Take a walk in the park and say hello to passers by, very often you will meet other people who are in the same boat as you; you can make new friends just about anywhere.
- Visit a dating agency and get back into meeting the opposite sex again, it’s never too late to start a relationship.
by admin | Oct 15, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
The following are helpful ways in dealing with anger:
1. DO acknowledge that you are angry.
It is important that you know how to recognize that you are angry, and give yourself permission to feel it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself “I am angry.” Remember, you can’t control something you don’t admit exists!
2. DO calm yourself before you say anything.
In the previous discussions, we saw how there is a biological reason why anger can feel overwhelming — our body is engaged in a fight or flight response. It helps then to defer any reactions until you have reached the return to normal/ adaptive phase of the anger cycle. Otherwise, you might end up saying or doing something that you’d later regret. Count 1 to 10!
3. DO speak up, when something is important to you.
This is the opposite to ‘keeping it all in.’ If a matter is important to you, so much so that keeping silent would just result in physical and mental symptoms, then let it out. If it’s not possible to speak to the person concerned, at least look for a trusted friend or a mental health professional.
4. DO explain how you’re feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your anger.
Take ownership and responsibility for your feelings. This makes the anger within your control (you can’t control other people). One way to take ownership and responsibility for your anger is through the use of I-messages, which would be discussed in a later module.
by admin | Oct 15, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold, and expression.
Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response.
Illustrated below are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery, and depression.
1. The Trigger Phase
The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individual’s normal/ adaptive state into his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the environment or from our thought processes.
2. The Escalation Phase
In the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight (to be discussed later).
3. The Crisis Phase
As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people.
4. The Recovery Phase
The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve as a new trigger.
5. The Depression Phase
The depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret, and or depression.
After the depression phase is a return to a normal or adaptive phase. A new trigger, however, can start the entire cycle all over again.
Below is an example of a person going through the five stages of the anger cycle.
Josephine came home from work to see dirty plates left in the sink (trigger phase). She started to wash them, but as she was doing so she kept thinking about how inconsiderate her children are for not cleaning after themselves. She was already tired from work and does not need the extra chore. She felt the heat in her neck and the tremble in her hands as she’s washing the dishes (escalation phase).
Feeling like she can’t keep it to herself any longer, she stormed up the room to confront her kids. In a raised voice, she asked them how difficult could it be to wash the dishes. She told them that they are getting punished for their lack of responsibility (crisis phase).
Having gotten the words out, she felt calmer, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She saw that her kids are busy with homework when she had interrupted them. She was also better able to hear their reasoning, as they apologized (recovery phase).
Josephine regretted yelling at her children and told them that she’s simply tired and it’s not their fault (depression phase).
NOTE: How long each phase lasts differ from person to person. Some people also skip certain phases, or else they go through them privately and/ or unconsciously.
by admin | Nov 6, 2013 | My Point
Ludwig Boltzmann developed an equation to describe the dynamics of an ideal gas.
Boltzmann’s ideas were not accepted by many scientists. Attacks on his work continued and he began to feel that his life’s work was about to collapse despite his defense of his theories. Depressed and in bad health, Boltzmann committed suicide just before experiment verified his work.
Only a couple of years after Boltzmann’s death, Perrin’s studies of colloidal suspensions (1908–1909), based on Einstein’s theoretical studies of 1905, confirmed the values of Avogadro’s number and Boltzmann’s constant, and convinced the world that the tiny particles really exist.
This is a typical example of how the great idea was being rejected but later its importance is recognized and applauded.
Poor Boltzmann, he did not able to experience the success of his work.
by admin | Aug 28, 2013 | Motivational, Stories
Joy is an expression of a sense of fulfillment and enrichment of life. To his followers Jesus said: ‘These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be full’ (John 15:11). Joy comes when we are driven towards things and persons because of what they are and not because of what we can get out of them.
The lad who mows the lawn reluctantly at the command of his father has no joy in the job. But the lad who mows the lawn because it is fun and at the same time wants to please his father has joy.
