by admin | Feb 9, 2015 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Do you feel as though you are running around like crazy, you feel as though you are being pulled in all directions, and don’t know where to turn next? This is not an uncommon feeling and is a sign that you need to discover ways to free up time in your busy schedule.
When you have achieved a work – life balance you will be enjoying life every day. You can handle pretty much anything that life throws at you, you are happy and content with the person that you are.
To find time in your schedule you need to try and find a way to remove unnecessary things. Your goal should be to live a much simpler life. To achieve this try and make a list of all the things that are important to you. Then narrow this list down again and have just two or three main priorities in your life. Just doing this removes a ton of stress and gives you more time.
For example you may be trying to juggle work, studying for a degree after work and saving for a new home, as well as spending time with your family. If you are feeling overwhelmed with all of this is there something that you can put on the back burner for a while?
by admin | Oct 22, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
If you have tried any type of brain training games you will know that they can leave you feeling pumped up and excited. This is because you have started to use your brain again. Your brain is huge and has untold capabilities and needs to be put to use each and every day.
This is almost the same type of feeling you get when you start a new exercise program. The exercise might be challenging, but afterwards you feel a renewed sense of energy and just feel great. It is hard to put your finger on the reason why. Your brain really does need to be stimulated on a daily basis and this is where using brain games comes in extremely handy. It is a sad fact that as
we age we start to do less. This includes not doing those jigsaw puzzles that we loved to do with our kids. It might be not cooking as often or not sewing or knitting the way you used to.
What happens is as you use your brain less, you start to feel less in control of your thoughts and emotions. You can’t remember names as well as you used to, those recipes elude you and your focus just isn’t what it once was. The good news is, these things don’t have to stay the same and this includes your energy levels. Your energy levels also pertain to your bodily functions as well. It is not just your brain that needs energy, your entire body does too.
The minute you start exercising more often your brain also receives a boost. You feel more energized, refreshed and renewed. This also makes you feel more alive, younger and ready to take on the world. You definitely don’t want to take your body or your mind for granted. They both need stimulating on a regular basis. When it comes to your body you can easily just go for a walk, take a yoga class or go swimming. Your brain, on the other hand, may need a little more encouragement.
This is done by playing brain games that tackle and challenge your mind. These games include word games, math games, audio and visual types of games. The great thing about brain games is that they are fun to play, and can be played on your computer, laptop or mobile device. If you have been feeling sluggish lately then why not try out some of the online brain training websites and see if they make a difference for you.
by admin | Oct 22, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Brain training has been around for decades and was based on doing memory tasks on paper. The renewed popularity today is directly due to being able to use the computer to play these games. The interaction is better and people do tend to be more responsive to visual stimulants.
Before we go any further let’s look at the question of what brain training is first. Brain training is a type of training that helps a person to improve their ability to learn in a faster and easier way. Your brain processes information through a network of nerve cells which are known as neurons.
These neurons group together the minute you start to learn and consume information. This grouping action is what allows you to learn easily. If a task is more complex then other neurons are attracted to the main group. So basically, as a task becomes harder your brain draws upon an increased number of neurons to learn the subject at hand. After you have successfully learned the tasks these extra neurons return to their other functions.
Everyone has cognitive abilities which are the process that your brain uses such as your memory, attention and reasoning. How well your brain performs these functions depends up each individual. Some people have better memory skills than others.
The good part of this is that all of these areas can be improved upon with training. When you begin to train your brain you will find that your memory works more quickly and that you can process information better. In fact the whole process of learning becomes fun instead of being seen as a challenge. Brain training improves all areas by strengthening each of your cognitive
skills, this allows all the parts to work together in an improved fashion. You can compare this to needing good tires and a working engine to make your car run smoothly.
If you start a brain training course or game you will be using audio, visual and memory skills. Each game or challenge requires different uses of these skills in a different combination. You may find brain training games a challenge at first, but not to worry. Stay with them and you will find that they eventually become much easier. Your brain training is working.
by admin | Oct 21, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Having a sense of purpose in your life goes a long way to helping you feel confident, secure and happy. A sense of purpose can be brought about by anything in life, it can be related to your career, bringing up a family or doing voluntary work. It is all about fitting in and feeling you are making a difference in life, that you are achieving something and getting somewhere.
If you have a sense of purpose in life you have something to look forward to everyday, a reason for getting up out of bed in the morning with a smile, it makes you feel good on the outside and so good on the inside. It leads to a more confident person who is happy with their position in life.
Younger people very often have no problem developing a purpose in life, they are just starting out and the majority of them have exams to pass, careers to start building, meeting the opposite sex, dating, marrying and eventually starting their own families. The majority of the younger generation has a lot to look forward to and so have a sense of purpose in life.
However the older we get, uncertainty can set in and we can start wondering about our purpose in life. Perhaps the children have grown up and are no longer dependant on you. Relationships break up or we reach retirement age and no longer have our work as a purpose in life.
The older generation then has to develop a new sense of purpose in life, luckily there are many ways you can achieve this, and here are some of the more common ones.
- Take up a new hobby and do something you have always wanted to do but have never had the time before.
- Join a social club, there are many social clubs which let people of the same age group meet on a regular basis and enjoy coffee and chatting. A lot of these groups have activities you can take part in and outings to attend.
- Join an exercise group either locally or at a gym, there are various types of exercise you can take part in without being too strenuous. Swimming meets are a great idea for the older person.
- Take up a sport such a tennis or bowling etc.
- Visit family and friends on a regular basis and have them come over for dinner
- Take up some voluntary work for a few hours every day, it gives you a sense of purpose and gets you out of the house.
- Take a part time job that you can adequately cope with for a few hours per week.
- Take a walk in the park and say hello to passers by, very often you will meet other people who are in the same boat as you; you can make new friends just about anywhere.
- Visit a dating agency and get back into meeting the opposite sex again, it’s never too late to start a relationship.
by admin | Oct 15, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
The following are helpful ways in dealing with anger:
1. DO acknowledge that you are angry.
It is important that you know how to recognize that you are angry, and give yourself permission to feel it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself “I am angry.” Remember, you can’t control something you don’t admit exists!
2. DO calm yourself before you say anything.
In the previous discussions, we saw how there is a biological reason why anger can feel overwhelming — our body is engaged in a fight or flight response. It helps then to defer any reactions until you have reached the return to normal/ adaptive phase of the anger cycle. Otherwise, you might end up saying or doing something that you’d later regret. Count 1 to 10!
3. DO speak up, when something is important to you.
This is the opposite to ‘keeping it all in.’ If a matter is important to you, so much so that keeping silent would just result in physical and mental symptoms, then let it out. If it’s not possible to speak to the person concerned, at least look for a trusted friend or a mental health professional.
4. DO explain how you’re feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your anger.
Take ownership and responsibility for your feelings. This makes the anger within your control (you can’t control other people). One way to take ownership and responsibility for your anger is through the use of I-messages, which would be discussed in a later module.
by admin | Oct 15, 2014 | Self Development, Soft Skills
Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold, and expression.
Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response.
Illustrated below are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery, and depression.
1. The Trigger Phase
The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individual’s normal/ adaptive state into his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the environment or from our thought processes.
2. The Escalation Phase
In the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight (to be discussed later).
3. The Crisis Phase
As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people.
4. The Recovery Phase
The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve as a new trigger.
5. The Depression Phase
The depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret, and or depression.
After the depression phase is a return to a normal or adaptive phase. A new trigger, however, can start the entire cycle all over again.
Below is an example of a person going through the five stages of the anger cycle.
Josephine came home from work to see dirty plates left in the sink (trigger phase). She started to wash them, but as she was doing so she kept thinking about how inconsiderate her children are for not cleaning after themselves. She was already tired from work and does not need the extra chore. She felt the heat in her neck and the tremble in her hands as she’s washing the dishes (escalation phase).
Feeling like she can’t keep it to herself any longer, she stormed up the room to confront her kids. In a raised voice, she asked them how difficult could it be to wash the dishes. She told them that they are getting punished for their lack of responsibility (crisis phase).
Having gotten the words out, she felt calmer, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She saw that her kids are busy with homework when she had interrupted them. She was also better able to hear their reasoning, as they apologized (recovery phase).
Josephine regretted yelling at her children and told them that she’s simply tired and it’s not their fault (depression phase).
NOTE: How long each phase lasts differ from person to person. Some people also skip certain phases, or else they go through them privately and/ or unconsciously.
